Day Ten

Ivan hung his head.

Alfie and Persephone left him to have some privacy. They walked through the corridors in silence, nether knowing what to say to the other. There was a waiting room and Persephone walked to the entrance, looking in and then turned to see if Alfie was following. She jumped up on a chair to get a better look at the television.

“Do you see that flickering dot on the map where we are?” She asked Alfie.

Alfie squinted. He saw a dot alternating between red and green. As he watched it turned solid green and did not change back to red.

“What is it?”

“That’s Ivan’s sister. If the dot was red, it would mean she was dead. If it’s green, it means she’s going to recover.”

“Where is my—“ Alfie wanted to know which colour dot his granddaughter would be.

“It’s there,” said Persephone. “Do you see it? Just next to Sarah’s.”

Alfie saw two green dots. “Yes! She’s made it!!” He absentmindedly stroked Persephone, even though his hand went straight through her and he had always said how much he hated cats.

“Alfie,” sighed Persephone. “It’s not always a good thing for a person to live on and on. Green doesn’t mean the person is responsive and healthy. It just means the state of their bodies will sustain them.”

“But I don’t get it. Everyone wants to live.”

Persephone jumped down from the chair again and Alfie followed.

They entered the trauma room of the hospital. It was a massive room with green screens all over the place. Persephone ducked under one screen then poked her head back out. “C’mon Alfie,” she said.

Alfie wasn’t too sure at all about going behind the screens. Surely people wanted dignity and quiet when they were hurt. But when he saw what was there, he appreciated the injured were a little preoccupied.

The injured man was not conscious and even Alfie knew what remained of his legs was not going to be there for long.

“A double amputee. Sometimes people have the will to live through adversity and sometimes they just give up,” Persephone said.

“But surely, that is something that can be seen on the screen? If they are going to give up, the dot would show as red.”

“Nope because people always change their mind. They have good days and bad days and sometimes they realise everything is balancing out and at other times they simply reach the tipping point and give in.”

“So the dot stays green.” Alfie said flatly.

“Or they turn it red,” Persephone answered gravely.

They were both silent for a few minutes.

“What are you going to use your two counts of physical force for?” asked the cat.

“I don’t know,” Alfie felt glum. “I used one touching my wife’s hand. So I guess I only have one left. I really don’t know.” Life would be some much easier if there were no uncertainties.

Persephone led Alfie back to Ivan who was still sitting on the edge of his sister’s bed. Her breathing was regular and steady but her heartbeat was being monitored. Alfie didn’t know too much about cardiographs but he thought he could recognise a strong heartbeat.

“You just missed the whole family,” he told them. “Sarah had a living will drawn up because she knew she was dying. The family knew about it and had accepted it. They even had a good-bye party while she was still well enough to enjoy it. She was supposed to sign it before everyone went home but she collapsed.”

“So it’s legally worthless,” Persephone said.

“Yep.”

Persephone jumped up on Sarah’s bed, never taking her eyes off of Ivan. “Why don’t we have a wander around, give yourself some space to think,” she suggested.

____________

Clarice swept the glass from the floor for the second time. She felt hollow inside. Everyone had warned her about Philip but she didn’t listen. Her parents suggested a small registry wedding but oh no, Sarah had to make it into a huge deal: inviting every friend and family member she could think, a big meal, a way too expensive dress and a honeymoon. And a cake of course. She saved every penny she earned, cleared out her life savings, borrowed money she was still paying off. And she had know about Philip all along—she knew he was lazy but she loved him. She thought a few differences in financial earnings could not come between them.

When Clarice had met him, he was a law student. She would meet him after classes and have meals together. She believed him when he said all his earnings went on tuition so she had said she’s pick up the bill. She didn’t mind as she had her degree in nursing and what else could she do but support him? It was only a temporary set up. Philip had said he would get a good job once he passed the bar exam. The problem was, just after they married, he failed it. Twice. Now he said he wanted to do something in engineering.     

And now she was stuck with him. Tens of thousands spent on a wedding to a future junior partner of the city’s biggest law firm. All she had to do was stick it out for a year or so and their lives would be transformed into something better than renting a lousy little student apartment. She just had to be patient.

She couldn’t tell her parents. The humiliation of being wrong would be too much. She could remember how much her mother had begged her to wait until Philip had finished school before she made the commitment. Her father had warned her too. He said she should at least demand that they share bills rather than her put her wages into his tuition fees. But oh no, Clarice knew best. She loved Philip and she could not wait to be his wife.

Putting her hand to her mouth, a little cry escaped from her. What a mess she had made! Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shard of glass that she missed. She reached over and picked it up, turning it over in her fingers. As a teenager, she had the habit of cutting herself. Just little scratches, just enough to make her bleed a little bit. She ran the sharp edge down her forearm, leaving light little lines, then retraced the lines a little harder. She took a deep breath and pressed hard enough to draw blood. It didn’t really hurt too much but it always made her feel better. She did it again so the blood dripped down her arm. Then she flicked the glass away, washed her arm and rolled her sleeve down again.