Day Eleven

Beneath her sleeve, the cuts stung but to Clarice, there was some comfort in this. She was angry, there had been blood and pain and now she could move forward again. After making herself a coffee, she went to her room to change into her uniform.

She had wanted to be a nurse when she was a child. Seeing someone hurt and putting it right had always appealed to her. There was a deep satisfaction in alleviating suffering but she could not apply this to herself and the way she felt about things. She would have been mortified if anyone had known she was cutting herself. It was such a stupid thing to but it made her feel better somehow. Back in high school, she had done it quite a bit but, she scolded herself, she shouldn’t do it now.

Once her uniform was on, she forgot all about the cutting. She picked up her keys and got into her car and thought nothing of it. Just as she was about to pull out, her phone rang.

“Hello?” she asked tentatively. She had not recognised the number.

“Hi Clarice, it’s me.”

Clarice recognised the voice immediately. She had been thinking of Brandon of and on since the morning. It wasn’t every day she fished out a strapping lad from the river. In fact, she had never had to pull some one out of the river ever before—and if she were honest with herself, she didn’t want to again. It was a close call and she always remembered from her high school swimming days that confident swimmers often made the worst rescuers: they took foolish risks that no qualified life guard would make. “Water is a powerful force,” her swimming coach liked to say. “It always wins.”

“Hey,” Clarice said. She put the car into park because she did not quite trust her ability to concentrate when she was talking to Brandon. She had tempted fate twice today, once with the rescue and again with the cutting. She figured a third temptation would be one too many.

“I just wanted to thank you again,” Brandon was saying.

Clarice held her breath. After he recovered, he had been so grateful to her and she had been so taken with him that she had handed over her phone number before she even remembered she was married. Clarice thought about her cut arms. Surely she deserved a little break? She needed a little bit of happiness and there was no way things would ever develop beyond a coffee.

“There’s no need to thank me,” Clarice heard herself saying. She felt disembodied and completely unconnected to what was happening. “I would have done it for anyone,” she said, even though she wasn’t sure it was true. Even in distress, Brandon was very good looking.

“Well, I know a little about the dangers of swimming in a strong current so I also know you put your life at risk to save me. I really thought I was a goner. I should have been dragged downriver.” Brandon paused and Clarice again held her breath. “I wanted to thank you. A thank you from me and my wife.”

Clarice’s heart plummeted. “Oh that’s OK,” she said. The last thing she wanted was to be thanked by his wife.

“I told Kim all about it.  She wants to meet you and buy you dinner,” he laughed. “Will you let us do that for you? Please?”

Perhaps it was the way he had pleaded that made her give in. What was she thinking when she thought Brandon might be interested in her? Of course he’s married, she scolded herself again. Without thinking about it too much, she re-opened one of the cuts on her arm.

“I would like that,” she said. And when she really thought about, she meant it too. Maybe Brandon was unavailable but his wife might make a good friend.

He made arrangements to meet her later with his wife after she had finished work and Clarice pulled out of the drive before she could make herself too late.

______

Persephone looked up at Ivan. “Way to go Love Doctor,” she teased.

“Hey, we just need to give this story some time,” he said.

“Oh yeah, both sides are married,” Alfie said. “I really don’t want to see two marriages fall apart, making four people—plus whatever kids are involved—completely miserable.”

“Who on earth ever said any of them were happy?” asked Ivan.

______

Tom woke up when the beer he had been holding spilled in his lap. His neck was stiff from resting at an odd angle. There was just enough beer left in the can for two big sips and he had them, then crushed the can.

He had not signed up for this gig of being a father to a handicapped daughter but he loved her as much as he thought a father should. Julie had brought great happiness into his life. But if he was honest, she also brought great sadness too. Long consultations at the hospital, watching Julie endure painful and intrusive testing. Beth was becoming more and more like a zombie as she had tried to care for Julie on her own. The arguments they were having were painful to bear. He did not think he could tolerate another argument like the one they had a few night previously. Beth had told him to leave—well, that was quite euphemistic.

He did not want to go to bed and feel Beth move herself as far away from his as possible. It hurt so much that he couldn’t communicate with her anymore. He loved her but he just could not go with this uncertainty. Julie was going to need more and more medical intervention until she was dead. Very doctor and specialist they had met said her illness was degenerative. She was not going to get better. There would be no miracle cure.

Tom paced around the living room for a bit. He and Beth had worked hard on the house. They made plans and decisions together. They had made huge sacrifices to make their lives as stable for a family as they could. There had been times when they hardly saw each other because of the sheer number of hours they had worked. Although they were both teachers, each took on an extra job. Beth became an examinations officer, working late nights and weekends. Tom started his own bar and grill across town and made sure it was run well by watching things very carefully. He had a talent for marketing and probably would have been able to make a career out of it. He liked teaching although it wasn’t very well paid but it was a steady income, unlike the bar and grill whose custom fluctuated depending on the weather, if the Tigers were playing or if a someone had had a bad day and just wanted a place to hang out for awhile that wouldn’t get him into trouble with the husband or wife.

Rubbing his head, he decided he would make his bed on the sofa and try to get as much sleep as he could.