Day Thirty

“Brandon’s red light was flashing a minute or two ago. We don’t have long.”

Janie used her cell phone to ring Brandon. She said: “I’m sorry Brandon. I’m sorry about everything. I’m on my way over so we can work it out.” She paused while Brandon must have been responding. “I’m sure we can too. We’ll find a way to make it work.” She hung up the phone and drove off in the direction of Brandon’s house.

There was that odd sucking noise and Ivan, Steven, the birds, Ralph and Maurice left the scene. Ivan and Steven ended up in Janie’s room where a very tall and wiry man was just sliding out from under the bed she had been using.

The man looked around the room then found the note Janie had left behind. Reading it carefully, he took out his cell phone and punched in a few numbers.

“We have a situation,” whispered the man to whoever it was on the other side of the line. “That idiot Ralph never delivered the money and some woman has picked it up.”

“What’s the money for?” Ivan asked Steven.

Steven shrugged. “I couldn’t work it out myself. Ralph was some sort of go between.”

“No witnesses. I got it. Follow her. I got it.” The man hung up the phone and took out a gun. Steven and Ralph exchanged glances then followed the man out to his car and slipped in his backseat. There was no traffic on the streets except one or two other cars. It took almost no time at all for the man to catch up with Janie’s car.

The man made another phone call and waited impatiently for an answer. “I can’t shoot her from the car,” he said. “And she might lead us to the person who has it. All we need to do is deliver it. They will have no idea it’s too late.”

Again Ivan and Steven exchanged glances. “Before you ask me, don’t. I still have no idea what he’s talking about.”

The man dropped further back from Janie to avoid being detected. In the dark, they could clearly see her taillights. He had tossed the gun onto the front seat next to him and from his manner, both Ivan and Steven knew he would not hesitate in using it.

Ivan looked up at Janie’s car just in time to see Maurice charging down the street straight towards her. A second later, the car had hit Maurice and burst into flames. After the initial flash, there was no sign of Maurice.

“Jesus!” the man in driver’s seat screamed. He made a sharp turn away from the crash and sped off in a different direction. Both Ivan and Steven were in shock as they were sucked back to where the birds, Ralph and Maurice were waiting. Maurice was nursing a massive scrape on his front legs and his forehead was smouldering. The birds were flapping around in a panic while Ralph collapsed to the ground.

Ivan stood over Ralph imposingly. “Do you want to tell us what that was all about?”

Ralph put his head in his hands and groaned softly. “She didn’t stand a chance, did she?” he asked.

As if summoned, Janie emerged from what looked to be a fog. She looked around at her surroundings before her eyes rested on Ralph. He was so despondent, he failed to notice her.

“You idiot!” she screamed at him. If she hadn’t been a ghost, she could have landed a very good kick in his face.

Maurice looked at her angry face and tried to slink away in the only way a six tonne bull elephant could. “And you there!” she shouted at Maurice. “Where the hell did you come from?”

“Well as it happens, I spent my whole life in a zoo. And I—“

Janie glared at him furiously. “You wrecked my life,” she began. “You are—“

“Now hold on lady! Hold on!” said the penguin, standing between her and Maurice.

“Yeah, let’s get a few things straight,” added the flamingo.

“You are nothing but a tart!” the puffin cackled.

Janie tried to shoo the birds away but they all held their ground defiantly.

“You are a very bad girl! A bad girl!” said the penguin.

There was a television on behind them and Steven fiddled around with it before reporting back the news. “I say we leave Janie and Ralph to their eternal love,” he gave Janie a withering glance.

“Why what’s up?” asked Ivan.

“Julie’s light is flashing red. We don’t have much time.”

As he spoke, Janie and Ralph seemed to fade away, still squabbling about the money and Janie lack of fidelity.

Clarice answered her phone. “Hi Brandon! How are you feeling?” She listened carefully to what he was saying. “Are you sure?” her face was serious as if she were receiving very bad news.

Caroline was watching her intently while Nathan filled Bonnie in on his recent illness. “What’s up?” Caroline asked Clarice when she hung up her phone. To her alarm, Clarice had tears in her eyes.

“There’s been an accident,” she told them. “Brandon’s wife. She—“ Clarice couldn’t finish so she just shook her head instead. “I’m going to have to go.”

“Of course,” said Nathan, standing up. “Thank you so much for stopping by. Are you sure you’re going to be OK?”

Although Caroline was worried for Clarice she was very pleased to see how far Nathan had come. He had held up his end of the conversation so well and he didn’t seem to be as lost as he had been the last time she had seen him.

Clarice finished the coffee in one gulp. “I’m so glad you’re on the mend, Nathan but I will have to go.” She waved to Bonnie and Caroline then blew a little kiss. At the door, she stopped again to say good bye and rushed out.

As she opened the driver’s car door, she noticed something on the floor in the back that she had never noticed before. She reached back and pulled it out. It looked like an ordinary package, the kind that could arrive through the mail. It was tied up securely and marked “Barry”. It came to her that maybe it had something to do with the guy that was shot in her backseat. Whatever it was, she wanted no part of it. When she saw a trashcan, she dumped it immediately and drove on to Brandon’s house and never thought of it again.

Marvin had the best day of his life so far and he felt oddly optimistic about his future. He knew being in love was part of it but he also understood that it might be that his physical conditions was improving, he felt stronger and healthier than he could remember. Although it was late afternoon, he still felt energised and as if he had important things to achieve. Like his English homework and cooking the dinner he had promised his mom and sister.

As he was putting ingredients together to make his soon to be famous lasagne, he heard faint voices upstairs. He listened carefully. He recognised his father’s voice but there was an unfamiliar female voice. It sounded like an argument. Marvin was very used to his father and mom arguing but this was different. A door opened and suddenly he could hear what was being said.

“I don’t see how you can be mad at me,” said the strange female voice. “I never said anything about wanting more or about leaving town.”

“You are nothing more than a tease,” he father clearly said.

Marvin felt the blood rise to the surface of his cheeks. It was Amanda.

Amanda had graduated from his school the year before and had been very well known owing to her ability to cause arguments wherever she went. Marvin looked around for a place to hide. The last thing he wanted was for Amanda to see him. He wasn’t particularly keen on seeing his father in such a state either.

There was a small closet under the stairs and before either his father or Amanda came down the stairs, he hid in it.

“You can call me what you like,” said Amanda, “But fun is fun and I don’t want to be the reason your wife asks for a divorce. I don’t want to be known as a home wrecker.”

In the closet, Marvin rolled his eyes.

“That’s why I suggested leaving.” There was an edge of pleading in his father’s voice that Marvin didn’t like one little bit.

“I don’t want to leave!” Amanda shouted. “That’s the whole point! I want to stay here with my friends and family and my job!”

Again, Marvin couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Amanda worked in a fried chicken shop. Hardly a job with good prospects or paid benefits.

The front door slammed and Marvin imagined that his father had seen the last of Amanda. He couldn’t decide if this was a good thing for his parents’ marriage or not. His mother had come back but if she knew about Amanda, maybe she wouldn’t be around for long. She had a tendency to hold grudges.

Marvin stayed in the closet until he heard his father’s footsteps as he retreated to his room. There was the heavy thump of his boots dropping on the floor and the soft and faraway voices from the television or radio. When the lasagne was ready, he would surprise his father with a hot dinner and maybe he mother would stay as well.

Brandon was pale and shaky but very relieved to see Clarice. As she held him and as he told her the story of how his wife had died in the fiery crash, she had made up her mind to leave her husband. She could not go as they were any longer and it seemed cruel to do so. But neither would she start a new relationship with Brandon until her divorce was final. That would be unfair too. She wanted to be a good person, to do the right things and to do the least harm in a very tough situation. The last thing Brandon needed was to be in the centre of a love triangle when he was grieving. So when he tried to deepen their kiss, she gently untangled herself, made her excuses and said good bye. But she promised she would drop in on him again in a few days. Time, she thought as she pulled out of the driveway, was something she had a lot of.

In the hospital room where Julie had been taken after assessment, Beth and Tom hovered over their daughter. They were equally distraught but Beth had the advantage as she had family nearby. She had called Nathan first and although she wasn’t sure of Bonnie, was very grateful she and Caroline had been so eager to help her out. They would bring Nathan to say good bye to Julie. Beth tried to ring her other brother Elliot but had only gotten his sad sack son on the line. She had never liked Marvin much either and had always assumed he was just as feeble as his mother. Marvin said he would get his father and they would be at the hospital as soon as they could. Beth wasn’t going to hold her breath.

In the after world, Alfie and Lucy were holding hands as best as they could, watching things anxiously.

“It’s for the best,” Sarah had assured them. Alfie still did not like her but watching Julie writhing on the hospital bed had kept his temper in check. He thought even Beth was coming around to the idea of letting Julie go.

All Ivan could do was shake his head sadly. Even the birds had adapted a sombre mood of reverence. Maurice sat quietly in a corner, careful not to draw attention to himself.

Bonnie and Caroline arrived just as the room was darkened. The nurses did not see the point of a brightened room anymore. Julie’s suffering continued.

“OK,” Ivan said to the birds. “It’s time to do your thing.”

The birds rose solemnly, clearing their throats and turning their beady eyes to Alfie. The penguin smiled at the flamingo who in turn smiled at the puffin.

“Now Alfie,” said the puffin, cocking his head.

Alfie looked quizzically at Ivan.

“This is how we do an avian resurrection!” said the flamingo knuckle bumping the penguin. The puffin laughed in his obnoxious way.

The Emperor Penguin straightened up to his full height of four feet three inches. “It’s time for you to flock off! Flock off!”

There was a searing flash of light and a bump that was just on the wrong side of uncomfortable. Worse, there was a thumping headache and an irritating tugging on his shoulder.

“Alfie!! Alfie!!”

Alfie could just about recognise Clarice’s voice and it frightened him. What had happened to her? He groaned.

“Oh Alfie!” said Clarice again.

Suddenly, Alfie got it: he was back to life. He felt too miserable to be dead. He groaned again and tried to turn over. He hadn’t like the way his position emphasised the spread of his backside. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Clarice’s.

“Clarice,” he whispered weakly.

Clarice looked startled. “Why yes. It’s me. I didn’t realised you knew my name.” She was checking his limbs for what he assumed was for breaks.

Alfie had felt better. “I want to go to the hospital,” he told her. “What day is it?”

Clarice again looked surprised. “It’s only Monday. I was just at a friend’s house and thought as I passing by, I would just check on you. Isn’t that funny? If I didn’t stop in, you might have been here for a very long time.”

Carefully, Alfie raised his arm to look at his watch. It was not quite eleven in the morning on the same date he had fallen. Ivan was right. Time was a weird thing in the after world.

“Monday?” Alfie asked.

Clarice nodded her head. “I’ll ring an ambulance.”

“No,” said Alfie, gaining strength. “I want you to drive me. There’s someone I need to see.”

“But—“ Clarice started to protest.

“No lip out of you,” he said, sitting up. He felt like he was covered in cement as the blood redistributed in his body. Using the wall as support, he pushed himself to a standing position and looked down at himself. Thank goodness he hadn’t peed his pants or worse. He was shaky but with a little support from Clarice, she got him into the passenger seat and drove as fast as she dared to the hospital.

When they arrived, Clarice drove straight to accident and emergency. Protesting as vigorously as he could, she plopped him into a wheelchair.

“This isn’t necessary,” he said for the thousandth time.

“You just stop fussing and tell me  where you want to go.”

Alfie directed her to Julie’s room where Marvin and Elliot had just arrived. There was great tension between Elliot and Bonnie but it soon became obvious there were bigger issues going on.

Although Alfie couldn’t see the after world anymore, he imagined that as Julie took her last breath, Maurice would have chucked her playfully under the chin and welcomed her into the after world where she could dance with six tonne bull elephants and sing with strange birds. There her grandmother would guide her to make up for the fact her mother could not.

There are always tears after a death and there were many shed for Julie. But the entire family returned to Elliot and Bonnie’s house where they ate the extra large lasagne dinner Marvin had prepared because he had no idea the members of his family had far smaller appetites than he did. Which he understood to be a good thing in the whole entire scheme of things. It was good to be feeding people in a time like this, even if his Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas had cried together, not quite able to eat yet.

After that long night, when Alfie had returned to the home he loved so much and the tea he had so yearned for, he found a postcard propped up on his bed stand. It had three bird footprints of various sizes, a hand drawn love-heart that he knew could only be from Lucy, a thumbprint that had to be from Ivan and three small ‘x’s that he believed had come from Julie. Alfie chuckled as he thought about how they had so generously used their valuable physical force points just to let him know they were watching over him.

“My feathers are well and truly ruffled,” he said in his empty room. As he fell asleep, he thought he heard the obnoxious cackle of a puffin.

Day Twenty Nine

She didn’t know what to say and decided the best way forward was to play it by ear. The children didn’t look like they had aged too much in the week or so that she had been gone.

An alarm went off which Caroline took from her pocket and switched off. She looked at her mother and levelled her voice so it didn’t sound like a criticism. “I have to go visit Uncle Nathan. He’s been unwell and me and my friend Clarice have been looking after him.”

“Oh. Do you need help?” The name seemed familiar although she could not quite place it.

Beside her, Lucy prompted her, whispering in a ghostly voice. “Give her a ride to Nathan’s. Give her a ride to Nathan’s.” Lucy had no idea if Bonnie could hear her.

“I’m good,” said Caroline.

“I can give you a ride, if you like?”

Following in Ivan’s example, Lucy punched the air. Humans could hear her! It was how she could use her physical force points—how long had she been searching for her special talent? She couldn’t wait to tell Alfie and the others. Finally, she was good for something besides ghosting around and eavesdropping on other people’s conversations.

“OK,” said Caroline.

Lucy whispered: “Ask Marvin if he’s happy,”

Bonnie picked up her keys then turned to Marvin. “You know Marvin, I’ve often wondered if you’re OK. I mean I’ve hardly seen you these days. I just got to know, are you happy?”

To her utter surprise, Marvin offered her a full on megawatt smile. “Mom, I’m good. Really good. I’ll tell you more about it later when you get back. Maybe I could cook dinner?”

It was his mother’s turn to smile. “I’d really like that.”

Lucy had no idea how her physical points worked or if she had any left but she thought she would try to say one more thing. “Suggest a family get together.”

“You know, we should have a family reunion,” said Caroline. “I don’t think we’ve all been together since Grandma Lucy died.”

Bonnie looked thoughtful “Let’s just see how we go, ok?”

They said good bye to Marvin and made their way out the front door.

Bonnie was thoughtful as she drove. It had been a very strange few weeks. Being back in the family home made her miss Elliot and certainly the children. Why did Elliot have to be such an idiot? Didn’t they have everything they had ever wanted? Times were tough when they had just gotten married. After all she had been pregnant with Marvin at such a young age and Caroline had come along shortly afterwards. They worked hard, sure. But they scrimped and save and put their energies together.

Amanda! Bonnie found it hard to believe Elliot could be so stupid as to get together with someone so young. She herself was hardly old! Yes, she was pushing forty but she wasn’t in bad shape. Getting divorced frightened her and made her feel as if she had failed miserably at life. She knew some women could come to terms with such a fate but she didn’t think she could go through with it. Bonnie had friends she had grown up with whose parents had divorced. It was all about awkward arrangements and reaching compromises, pretending everything was OK and continually worrying that one parent was going to be put out by the arrangements.

“So what’s going to happen?” Caroline asked quietly.

For a few minutes, Bonnie simply concentrated on her driving. She didn’t want to answer Caroline until she was certain of her feeling. And then she realised she was never going to be certain of them. Beside her, the landscape rolled by. If she got divorced, that wouldn’t change. The world would still be here but she would have to move to a different house, maybe even out of the city. How would she feel if she ran into Elliot and Amanda on a daily basis or worse, by surprise?

“I don’t know, babe,” she answered her daughter. “I know how I’d like things to be but that might not be how things turn out.” She pulled into Nathan’s driveway just as another woman was getting out of her car. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Caroline wave to her and for a dreadful moment, thought this might be Amanda. It was the nurse’s uniform that assured her it could not ben.

The gravel crunched as the car pulled up next to Clarice’s car. The nurse was smiling at Bonnie as if she knew her. Bonnie had barely put the car into park when Caroline rushed out and hugged the nurse with something like great affection. It made Bonnie feel bad: Caroline had not hugged her like that.

“Mom, this is Clarice,” Caroline said proudly. “She helps me look after Nathan. Makes sure he takes his medication and looks after himself.” She gave Clarice one more squeeze before letting her go to shake hands with her mother.

“I’m so glad to meet you,” Clarice said. She looked Bonnie straight in the eyes. There was so much confusion in her, Clarice thought. If Nathan could just stabilise, she might be able to sit down with her and have a good talk. From what Caroline had said about, a lot of hurt had built up over the past couple years and Bonnie was intelligent enough to overcome this hurt if given enough space to work it all through.

The three of them went into the house to check on Nathan. Bonnie was surprised that Clarice had keys but then , she had been out of the scene for a few weeks and if Marvin was anything to go by, a lot had happened during her absence.

There was a collective sigh from Caroline and Clarice when they got inside. Bonnie thought the decorating left a little to be desired but all else looked pretty well. Nathan himself could be heard singing to himself from what Bonnie assumed was the kitchen.

“Nathan’s been a bit wobbly these past few months,” Clarice whispered. “His moods have been very up and down so he’s taking a little medication to smooth over the edges.”

“I see,” said Bonnie.

Nathan came out of the kitchen bearing three mugs of coffee on a tray. When he saw Bonnie, he nearly dropped them. Thinking she should have called first, she was about to make her excuses and leave. Perhaps Elliot had been talking to Nathan. She didn’t want to know what Nathan thought.

“I’ll just go make another cup!” Nathan said as he put the tray down.

“I’m OK,” said Bonnie. “Honestly, I’ve had enough caffeine for the day.” She must have had five cups of coffee over a very breakfast as she thought about what she was going to do.

Nathan motioned for them to sit down.

“You look so much better,” said Caroline. Although there were still substantial bags under his eyes, he did not have the empty haunted look about him anymore. And the house had found a happy medium between hideously messy and hideously neat.

“I feel better too,” he said as he sipped his coffee. “Like I’ve come back from a really stressful holiday.”

Clarice’s cell phone rang and she excused herself to answer when she saw it was Nathan.

 

Janie tearfully looked at what remained of Ralph’s things. He had left a change of clothes and a few toiletries in a small duffle bag at her hotel and this was all she had left of him. She wasn’t completely sure where he lived but the police had told her she wouldn’t be able to get in anyway. Everything else of his had been confiscated by the police. Probably if they knew she had a few of his belongings, these too would be confiscated. She had not quite processed the fact that he was gone. And under such stupid circumstances too. How could he go and get himself shot in the back of some stranger’s car? The whole thing was so absurd she would have laughed if she hadn’t known Ralph was never going to come back to her.

As she looked at her things, it dawned on her that these remaining belongings might have a clue about what had actually happened. His death might mean she would eventually return to Brandon—she still loved Brandon after all—but if she knew what had happened to Ralph she could move forward. Janie turned the bag inside out and shook the clothes one by one and went through the pockets of the jeans followed by the pockets in his shirts. The only thing that came out of the pockets was a pair of reading glasses. When the bag was empty, she accidently removed the bottom layer of the bag and found a letter.

She turned the letter over and over. There was no writing on the envelope and yet it seemed too heavy for a letter. Carefully, she opened it and was shocked to find several one-hundred dollar bills along with a note.

The note said:

Delivery to West car park, red beat up Camero

Ask for Barry

Janie pocketed the money and put the duffle bag and the rest of Ralph’s belongings in her suitcase. Then she closed it and checked out of the hotel.

In the after world, Maurice, the birds and Ivan were giving Ralph a hard time. They were all having a hard time standing up for laughing.

Ivan found it particularly hysterical that Ralph had mistaken Calrice’s beat up car for a Camero.

“That will teach you to leave your reading glasses behind!” he snorted.

“I can’t believe she just took my money,” Ralph said sadly, shaking his head. “I mean, did she look tearful to you? We had some good times together,” he said defensively.

“I’m sure you did! Sure you did!” said the penguin.

“Bet you had a real hoot!” cackled the flamingo.

Steven dropped into their conversation. “Guys, I can see you’re having fun but Janie is being followed by a few very unsavoury characters.” He looked pointedly at Ralph. “I might have said leave her to them but she’s leading them directly to Brandon.”

They all looked at each other.

“I thought the love doctor got it wrong! Got it wrong!” the penguin said.

“He didn’t get it wrong. We just have to get Janie out of the way.”

“Oh no,” said Ivan. “I don’t like the way this sounds.!  

 

 

 

Day Twenty Eight

Marvin woke up from a good night’s sleep and just knew it was going to be a great day. He stretched and yawned and flexed his feet, feeling ridiculously happy about the day ahead of him. It was the first time in a long time he had felt this happy and relaxed about the day ahead. Leaping out of bed, he again stretched and then did as many push ups as he could—he didn’t think twenty five was too bad for someone who had put more energy into avoiding gym class than in actually attending. Push ups done, he then did several sets of squat thrusts and then as many sit ups as he could. When he looked at the clock, it read 7:25am. He was delighted. It was the first time he had woke up in time to have a nice hot shower before school.

Wrapping a towel around him, he padded back into his bedroom to find something to wear. He had lots of clothes but most of them had grown too small for him and the larger ones he had worn so often they looked tatty and unkempt. They probably smelled bad too but he did not focus on this.

Finally he found a pair of jeans he had never worn before. He took them out of their plastic packaging and held them up for inspection. The last time he had tried them on, he had to lie on the bed to zip them up and they had been so uncomfortably he couldn’t even breathe properly. They were good jeans. His mom had bought them in the sales but the quality was all right—if only he could squeeze into them.

He eyed them once more.

Several days of exercise and being far more careful of what he ate may have made a difference but what if it didn’t? If he still couldn’t fit into them, he would be discouraged and might be tempted to just give up on his new fitness regime. He thought of Tonya again and smiled to himself. He decided if the jeans didn’t fit, he was going to stick to it. He may never be male model but he could certainly do better than this.

He looked at the jeans once more and then tried them on. They slipped over his chubby thighs easily and to Marvin’s relief, the zip went up without a problem. He took a deep breath and let it out again. The jeans were not at all uncomfortable and, if anything, he needed a belt to keep them up. Picking up his books, he walked down the stairs to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

He found Caroline sitting at the table, quietly reading. Ordinarily he wouldn’t think of speaking to her but he was in such a good mood and things were going so well, he could see no harm.

“I’m fixing myself an omelette. Would you like me to do one for you?”

Caroline looked up at him in surprise, blinking in disbelief. “I’m not hungry,” she said. She was still in shock he had spoken to her.

“It’s no problem,” Marvin reassured her. “There lots of eggs and I’m not a bad cook. Mom showed me how.”

At the mention of her mother’s name, Caroline frowned. She and Clarice had spoken about her mother’s absence but it still hurt that Bonnie had not even bothered to check up on her. She looked up at her brother’s imploring face and was overcome with something resembling regret. “I’ll have an omelette with cheese, please,” she said.

“Coming right up,” he replied and began breaking eggs and then whisking them with milk.

“Have you heard from mom?” Caroline asked.

“No,” Marvin answered guardedly. “I don’t think dad has either.”

There was nothing more to say about the subject. “So,” said Caroline. “No more beer for breakfast?”

Marvin tried to hide a smile. “I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m trying to be a better man.” He proudly gave her a perfectly cooked omelette with the letter “C” on top. The “C” had been cooked first so it was browner than the rest of the omelette and Caroline couldn’t help but laugh.

“I remember we used to do this with pancakes,” she said as she took a bite. It brought back memories of when they all used to eat breakfast together: her parents, Marvin and herself.

They heard the lock in the front door rattled and someone entered the house. The siblings looked at each other and shrugged. Marvin thought it had to be their father but then they heard the distinctive click of high heels on the linoleum.

Bonnie stood in the doorway, looking slightly surprised to see her two children being civil to each other over the breakfast table.

“Mom!” Brandon dropped his fork.

For a few seconds, Bonnie said absolutely nothing. Then Caroline was out of her chair. She didn’t throw herself at her mother but instead very gingerly put her arms around her as if expecting a rebuttal. It never came. Bonnie hugged Caroline back and kissed her cheek.

“I’m sorry I was away for so long.” There were tears in her eyes.

Then Marvin got up and gave her a quick hug. “We missed you,” he told her.

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me anymore so I went away for awhile.

 

Day Twenty Seven

Bonnie drove without having a solid plan. She had missed her children but had been away for so long without a word that she knew they would be angry. They had every right to be. A good mother would have called by now and let her children know she was thinking of them. A good mother would have made sure a hot dinner was on the table every night. Bonnie was overwhelmed with the guilt of not being perfect.

Like Alfie, Lucy had not cared much for Bonnie. There was something about her that just missed likeability. She looked like she spent far too much time on herself or was trying to hide something and it made Lucy nervous. And certainly Bonnie wasn’t good enough for her son. Over the years they had been together, Lucy had quietly speculated they wouldn’t last and before she had fallen ill, had even hoped they would split up.

So when Lucy was dropped into Bonnie’s car, she was far from pleased. She had been nearly thankful for being dead so she didn‘t have to deal with her anymore.

And yet, Lucy could see herself in Bonnie. All the years of feeling guilty about not being able to look after the children because she had to work seemed far too recent for her liking. And weren’t they all screwed up? Nathan may have been experiencing long term effects from his accident but there was no excuse for Elliot and as for Beth, Lucy just didn’t know what to do. She had been dead before Julie was born and had only realised the extent of her problems a few years after she had been born. Of course Lucy knew there was not a whole lot she could do for that granddaughter but there was also Caroline.

Caroline. Lucy remembered the little girl who was so happy to see her. Thinking of Caroline made Lucy think of Alfie. How proud he had been when he was told he had a granddaughter. He had been proud to be grandfather to Marvin too but when they had one of each, he had just been over the moon with joy. After seeing her for the first time, they opened up a savings account just like they had done for Marvin. But Alfie could not pass children’s clothes shops without buying something for her. He had chosen the most girliest of outfits: pink, pink and more pink. Lace and satin dresses, fussy shoes and fiddly hats. Coats she would only be able to wear for a couple of months before she outgrew them. He wanted to buy her dollies too and would agonise over what kind of baby she would like.

But Caroline had been a tomboy, a real rough and tumble girl who wanted nothing more than to be free to move around as she liked and get dirty. Bonnie had also tried to get her to wear the clothes as she didn’t want Alfie’s feeling hurt but nothing could persuade Caroline into a dress. Once Alfie realised this, he started taking her to ball games instead where they’d watch game after game and share French fries every Saturday.

Marvin was a different story and had always been an odd boy who was very difficult to read. He didn’t seem to like sports, not even video games. It was clear he liked to eat and sleep but there was little else that caught his attention.

Once Lucy had been liberated of her body and had been free to come and go as she liked, she would often hang around with Marvin just to see what he got up to. Happily was spared from having to witness the nastiest of teenage boy habits but she had seen enough of him to know the boy needed a little more guidance from his father.

Elliot. That fool, thought Lucy. There was just hardly a point in trying to get him to see sense and take the lad under his wings. Like do father and son things. Marvin didn’t seem to even like Alfie or even his own mother and father. Independent from an early age, he was just content to mooch around the place, shoving everything edible into his mouth. It wasn’t that he was an unlikable kid but he needed direction and encouragement.

Lucy turned to watch Bonnie. She was crying and as much as she didn’t want to, Lucy began to feel sorry for her. Bonnie wasn’t too different from the way she had been at the same age. Ambitious, maybe a bit impatient but also in a difficult relationship. Alfie got a lot better as he got older but he had been a lot of work and it took a lot out of her to keep him on an even keel.

There was the time that Lucy had been feverishly working on a knitted sweater for Nathan who had a “thing” about British television. He would order videos from specialists shops and then spend all evening watching them. She and Alfie could hear him hooting and cackling at the jokes no one in the family understood. He even developed and cultivated a British accent and would painstakingly recreate certain scenes and then act them out for an ungrateful audience.

Nathan had been so interested in British television that Lucy had made a serious attempt to understand them too. So she would make some popcorn and join him. At first, Nathan had gotten his nose so out of joint over everyone’s lack of interest that he initially just ignored her but then he began to let her in on a few of the jokes.

“You see?” he had asked her. “It’s a dead parrot but the other guy doesn’t know it!”

Lucy did not get it but laughed anyway.

As if summoned, the three birds appeared in the car with her. They sat in the back cracking silly jokes and being obnoxious. Lucy kept watching them in the rear view mirror, wondering how things so small could be so loud.

Then she remembered where her thoughts had been: Alfie and the sweater.

Or should that be “jumper”? That was what Nathan would have called it. As she was trying to understand Nathan’s interest in all things British, she noticed one of the characters had a very unique sweater on. With a little bit of research she found out this particular sweater was called “Fair Isle”. It had a very fiddly pattern but she found all the right colours and planned to knit one for Christmas as a sort of peace offering to Nathan because he was still feeling a bit put out (as Nathan would have said) with her for not getting his jokes.

Lucy remembered each row of knitting was about 140 stitches of very thin yarn. On top of being difficult to work with, the colours had to be changed every few stitches so it all got very tangled as well. But she persevered and completed the two sleeves and the back and was half way through the front when she and Alfie had a row. She couldn’t remember what the row had been about but she had come home from work one day and found the back of the sweater completely unpicked and left as a pile of wool in the middle of the bed they shared. Lucy was so angry she did not know what to do. So she turned on her heel and walked out of the house. Beth had called out to her but she didn’t stop even though she heard the desperation in her daughter’s voice.

“Mom! Stop!” Beth had called.

But Lucy couldn’t stop. If she stopped she might kill somebody. It would have been so wrong of her to take her anger out on Beth. So she carried on walking. After about half an hour, she started to calm down and feel like the murderous rage she had felt had dissipated enough for her to return home to the family. Lucy knew what she had to do and she had resolved to do it: she was going to re-knit that damn sweater and give it to Nathan for Christmas. She wasn’t going to say a word to Alfie, she was just going to re-do it. If she complained, he would know he had gotten the better of her. With every stitch, she swore at her husband in her mind and when she had finally given it to Nathan on Christmas as planned, she had felt positively victorious. There was a slight disappointment that Alfie hadn’t noticed but that didn’t matter so much as him not defeating her.

The birds were getting noisy again in the back so Lucy turned to look at them. There were an odd trio. In real life, they would not have even met each other but in a zoo, they had seen each other enough to recognise one another in the afterlife.

Bonnie had pulled over the car to have a good cry and again, Lucy was overcome with pity for her. As she watched her cry, Lucy started to feel guilty for a very different reason: her own son had caused this sorrow and pain. He had been a part in causing the pain of children and Lucy knew she would have to do something to help bring the family back together again. What she had to do was a mystery to her.

As the birds flapped around in the back, she started to get an idea as to how they could help. Perhaps Maurice might be able to help too, she thought.

Day Twenty Six

There was that sucking sound and they were all transported together to Julie’s bedside.

Beth tried as best as she could to keep Julie warm and happy but in her heart of hearts, she knew it was a losing battle. Tom could no longer bear to be in the same room as her and she had heard on more than one occasion, him begging whatever gods may be to release Julie from the prison that was her body. Beth was not ready to accept this request. She had given birth to Julie, had looked after her in every capacity and surely if Julie were to die then it was only fair that she die with her.

“I can’t bear it,” Ralph cried curling into a small ghostly ball, “I can’t stand by and watch her die!” For all his shortcomings, his easily tempted ways, Ralph was not able to give in so easily to something so inevitable. He knew Julie was going to die as much as everyone else on that side of the afterlife knew but he had not yet developed the means to let go.

“It’s for the best,” Sarah said. “What kind of life does she have?”

“SHUT UP!!” Alfie shouted in her face. “SHUT UP!! You horrible woman! How do you know her life is so awful? Who made you the judge of what life is or isn’t?” Ghostly tears were on his cheeks again.

“Look at her!” Sarah screamed back. “Do you think you have the right to let her suffer in this way?” Sarah glared at Alfie. “You don’t even know what it’s like to be trapped in your own body, unable to communicate, waiting for the next medical text, hearing every awful thing the nurses say about you and your family and about their own families. You’re just lying there like a doll.” She turned her back to him.

“I didn’t even know I was going,” Ralph said sadly. “I knew I was hurt real bad but I didn’t know I was going to end up here.” He looked at Maurice and the birds. “I sure didn’t expect talking elephants and birds!”

“We dance too,” said the penguin, “We dance!”

“I didn’t know I was going to go either,” said Alfie. “I wasn’t even completely sure I was dead.”

“I didn’t know I had bought the farm,” said Ivan. “I didn’t see it coming. I just roamed around for a bit, pissed off because I couldn’t eat anything.”

The birds looked at each other and Maurice shrugged. “We didn’t know either,” said Maurice.

There was another sucking sound and Lucy was with them looking despondent once she saw Julie. She seemed to understand this was the end.

“I can’t bear to watch,” Alfie said.

“Then don’t,” said Sarah coldly. “Take a walk and let this poor girl have peace.”

Alfie took Lucy’s hand as best as he could.

“Can I take a walk too?” asked Ralph. Being newly dead, he didn’t quite understand the rules and he didn’t get it that no one else understood the rules either. “I want to find Janie. Maybe she needs me.”

Ivan looked at him and for a moment considered telling him that he no one could figure out how to move from place to place without a bit of chance being involved. He had just decided to say this when both he and Ralph were sucked out of Julie’s room and plopped into the back seat of a moving car.

Ivan had no idea where he was but Ralph at least knew the driver.

“Janie!” he shouted, trying to touch her shoulder.

“Don’t man,” said Ivan. “She’s driving like a lunatic and you’ll scare the crap out of her.”

“I don’t care if you’ve been injured, Brandon!” she swerved erratically as she spoke on her mobile phone.

Ralph looked at Ivan.

“I’ve been a bad boy,” Ralph confessed looking shamefaced. “I shouldn’t have been messing with a married woman.”

Ivan slowly nodded his head. “This sure is going to be a mess if she tells Brandon she never wants to see him again.”

Janie was listening intently to what Brandon was saying.

Although they had no way of knowing it, Maurice and the birds plus Alfie, Lucy and Sarah had been sucked up and spat out in Brandon’s hospital bed. Brandon was in hospital clothes and was sitting on the end of his bed shouting into his mobile phone. Behind him, a sign clearly asked patients not to use their mobiles in the hospital.

“Shall I bite his butt?” asked the penguin. “Bite his butt?”

Alfie shook his head and motioned for him to be quiet.

“Because Janie I love you. We can forget all about this. Just come back and we can work it out.”

“Sucker,” mumbled Alfie. “Once a cheat, always a cheat.” His words echoed.

After a short pause, Lucy said: “I had an affair once,” she hung her head.

At first, Alfie didn’t react. He just let the words hang in the air. Then he turned to look at his wife.

“I didn’t know,” he said honestly. “But I was such an asshole when you were trying to do a job as well as help take care of the family.”

“It wasn’t then,” she said. “It was when Nathan had his accident.” Again, she looked deeply ashamed. “I could not seem to stop crying and I met someone else who was in a similar situation.”

Alfie sat down and looked up at her. How could he be mad at her now that there were both dead? He understood her need for companionship during that awful time. He had been simply ill equipped to help her through what had probably been the worse days of their lives. Well, the worse besides their own or each other’s deaths.

“Lucy, please don’t think I’m angry or that I can’t forgive you. It’s all the past and we can’t change it.”

Lucy looked at Alfie as if he were nuts. “Do you mean, I’ve been worried about this all this time and you’re not even creating a fuss?”

Alfie chuckled. “I know. Progress, right?”

Lucy looked at Maurice. “Well if I had known this was going to be his reaction, I might have had someone else as well!”

“I wish I had known about this when you were alive because I always fancied that girl at the library.” Alfie’s eyes twinkled mischievously.

The birds chuckled.

Lucy laughed. “I always knew you have a thing for her!”

The laughter between them was easy and gentle. Alfie did not know what a good marriage meant until that moment and he was glad Lucy was going to be with him when his body was discovered.

 

Elliot logged onto his computer to check his emails. He was waiting to hear from Amanda but instead there was one from Bonnie. Without reading it, he deleted it then got up again. As he went to the living room, he took out a small key and unlocked the drink cabinet. He kept a good bottle of whiskey in there. Turning the key, he looked inside and saw that it was completely empty.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “I’m going to kill that kid.”

He took his car keys and went to the shop to get another bottle, reminding himself that he would have to change the lock.

Whistling quietly to himself, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove. It wasn’t far to the nearest liquor store. All he wanted was a quiet drink and an opportunity to forget about Amanda. She was too young for him and she had her whole life ahead of her, unlike him. He had made his bed and now he would have to lie in it. Two messed up kids and a drunk for a wife.

“Ex-wife,” he said out loud. He wasn’t going to take her back no matter what his ex-wife said or did. They could sell the house and spilt the profits and he would go somewhere else and start all over again. His car phone rang and he jumped, surprised. Expecting Amanda, he saw Caroline’s number.

“Ah Jesus,” he cursed. She was near the bottom of the list of people he wanted to speak to. The last time he had spoken to her, she had called him useless to everyone. He was useless all right—until she wanted a bit of cash. He pressed for the answer machine to take the call and carried on driving. What on earth could she want at this hour, he wondered and where was that ridiculous son of his? Probably off with some losers drinking his whiskey he thought. Bonnie had said she thought someone had been drinking his beers but he had just told her to stop blaming the kids for her problems. She had probably lost count of the number of cans she was putting away.

He laughed to himself. He was going to have fun filing those divorce papers.

 

Caroline looked at the phone as the answering machine played. She wasn’t one hundred percent certain but she thought her father cut her off. Nathan was still sleeping and snoring quietly. Not knowing what else to do, she called Clarice.

 

Clarice had gone all the way through her rounds. Alfie’s dinner was always the last she delivered. And it wasn’t because he was her favourite patient. Oh no. Alphie was an impossible and intolerable train wreck of a person who could not understand the simplest acts of compassion.

Just as she was about to pull into Alfie’s driveway, her phone rang. She saw it was Brandon and answered.

“Clarice,” he said, sounding miserable. “She doesn’t want to come back.”

She put the car into park and got out, looking up at Alfie’s front door. Resting the phone her shoulder, she opened the trunk of her car. As she went to reach for Alfie’s dinner, she dropped the phone and could tell by the sound, she had shattered the screen.

“Terrific,” she said, not wanting to look at the phone. She vaguely wondered how much that was going to cost to replace.

Clarice knew before she opened his door that Alfie was dead. There was no sound, no smell, no sight. There was only a grim certainty as she walked up the gravel path that she was going to find him dead behind the closed door.

“This is it, Alfie,” said Maurice. “It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for!”

Day Twenty Five

 

Caroline, freshly released from the hospital, was bored and lonely now that she was back at home. As it was a Saturday, she decided she would wander over to drop in on her Uncle Nathan. It had been a while since she had last seen him and she had often thought of him. Like her grandfather and everyone else in the family, she had been devastated when had been so badly injured in the accident. No one had said very much but she had witnessed the unspoken agony on everyone’s faces. To get to Nathan, she would have to get a couple of buses but, as she had nothing else to do, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to reconnect with family.

Persephone had been fretting over Nathan’s fast decline back into absolute decrepitude. All the progress he had made the previous months was undoing at an alarming rate. The tom cats were back and demanding to be fed, the toilet was blocked again and the kitchen was a mess. Worse, Nathan was flopped back on the couch totally comatose of sugar and mindlessly watching television. There were red and green dots on the screen and the one representing him was flashing red.

There was a knock at his door but Nathan did not even flinch. Persephone jumped off the couch and walked over to the tom cats with her tail in the air. There were two older toms lounging near the front door. Neither of them was interested in tail anymore and had reached the stage of their life when they wanted nothing more than a peaceful life. So when the younger toms started to fight, the two older ones decided it was time to make an exit.

Over time, cats imitate certain skills they have seen humans do. There are cats who have managed to toilet train themselves for example and other cats that can open boxes of dry cat food and cats that can squeeze through impossible places. And then there are cats who have lived together for so long and have seen humans do so many things that they learn to collaborate and do as humans do. So one old tom cat simply stepped on the back of the other tom cat and reached up, unlocked the front door and let themselves out. In the process, they let Caroline in.

Caroline realised as she let herself in that she had been so busy with her own sadness that she had lost track of nearly all members of her extended family. By her calculations, she hadn’t seen Nathan for nearly two years—and she thought that was quite a conservative estimate. The last time she had seen him was just after his accident. He was recovering and was eagerly talking about the house he would buy with the compensation.

“I just want a very simple house,” he had told her. “I don’t want to have to take care of too many things or get bogged down with renovations. Just an easy place to lay my head at the end of the night.”

The last time she had seen him, there were still obvious scars from the accident imprinted on him. Nathan was only a few years older than her and he had graduated from high school just before she had started. When he finally got his driving license, he would come collect her to hang out at the 7/11 across town where they’d get a sugar high from too much cola and shoot the breeze about nothing terribly important. But he made Caroline feel important and protected. Everyone in the family had said (repeatedly) how lucky she was not to have been in the car when he pulled out in front a pickup truck after he had dropped her off.

Caroline’s parents had been screaming and shouting at each other (as usual) when the phone had rung. Neither had heard it so it had been her who had picked up the phone.

“Caroline?” said the voice on the other end.

“Grandpa!” She was always glad to hear from even though he was often tired and cantankerous. He was not moving as fast as he used to and she was just starting to become afraid that she wouldn’t have him for too much longer.

The shouting carried on and Caroline felt embarrassed for her parents. “Caroline, can you get one of your parents on the line?”

Caroline looked at her parents, both red faced from screaming. Her mother had tears running down her face. “And what do you do? Huh!! Nothing! You never do nothing!”

“It’s not a good time,” she had whispered. “Is there something I can do for you?”

To Caroline’s horror, Alfie began to cry. He didn’t make it obvious at first but she could hear his voice breaking with emotion.

“It’s bad news,” he sniffed. And Caroline could imagine him holding the bridge of his nose as he tried to get himself under control. “Nathan—“

As soon as Caroline realised something had happened to Nathan, she had put the phone down and begged for a lift from a neighbour.

Seeing her grandparents so upset had a huge effect on Caroline. When you’re growing up, you want to believe that grownups never have such huge problems that they cry. You want to believe they have all the powers to change everything. Nathan was in surgery so she didn’t get to see him that evening. Getting her to go home to her warring parents had been very difficult and in the end, Alfie and Lucy had let her stay with them so they could all go to the hospital together the following morning.

Nathan had been a pathetic sight, covered in plaster. He was in an induced coma so was completely unresponsive. Caroline had a hard time believing he was actually under all those bandages. The worst part of his injuries was the ones that couldn’t be seen, she had been told. She had never been to church in her life but had prayed for Nathan, not caring if he didn’t suffer long term damage for his injuries. Caroline would have loved him no matter what had happened and taken care of him no matter what state he had been left in. he deserved people who weren’t going to give up on him.

And so, she felt terribly guilty on the day of her first visit to him in a very long time. Caroline closed Nathan’s door and stepped into the living room. Garbage was knee deep and there was an awful pong of cats and rot. But worse than that, was the certainty in Caroline’s gut that something was very wrong. Everyone could be a slob at times but this was far, far worse than just a pig out.

Like Alfie had found, every room was simply beyond the imagination. Persephone rubbed against Caroline’s legs the best she could do. Caroline took another tentative step inside. For a few moments, she saw no sign of life and she thought perhaps the house had been overtaken by squatters. She hoped, it had been overtaken by squatters.

And then her eyes rested on the pile of rags piled on the couch.

Nathan was curled up on the couch and was sucking his thumb. Except for the sucking motions he made with his mouth, he appeared asleep. It was difficult to know whether or not she should wake him up to end this embarrassing situation or let him sleep through it so he could be oblivious to it.

Her indecision came to an end when Nathan began snoring. It was not the snore of someone lightly sleeping but perhaps the death rattle of someone who might at any moment find it impossible to inhale due to the tongue’s sudden and irrevocable lodging in the throat.

For a few seconds, Caroline had been fearful Nathan was beyond saving and then there came a flurry of twitches in his limbs.

“I’m awake!!” he shouted. “I’m awake!” Unseeing, he turned in Caroline’s direction.

Seeing Nathan was awake, Caroline visibly relaxed. They could fix the house up again but perhaps Nathan was beyond fixing.

Unknown to either Nathan or Caroline, the dead birds were watching them, and began to high five each other and perform a weird bird dance. It didn’t take long before Maurice and his new friend Ralph joined in the fun.

“Not so bad being dead, is it?” Maurice asked Ralph.

“I’ve felt better,” he said with a straight face.

“If there was anything you could do again,” Maurice probed, “What would you do?”

Ralph was very thoughtful for a few minutes. In fact he was so thoughtful Maurice had thought he had fallen asleep. “If I had time,” he said, after waking up, “I would tell Janie that I loved her.”

There was a collective gasp. They had all heard of the name Janie but no had thought much about her. Janie was Brandon’s wife, a nonentity really.

“There must be more than one Janie in the world,” Ivan said authoritatively whilst trying to remember any Janie other he had ever met before.